Six years ago, I woke up shaking in a hotel room with my sense of reality shattered. Colours were distorted, the walls seemed to breathe and shadows felt like threats. I thought I was going to die. This marked the beginning of a year-long mental breakdown. Nothing worked - not antidepressants, not therapy, not yoga. I was too far gone... until I wasn't.

This is the story of my journey from the brink of suicide to a semblance of stability, purpose and, crucially, hope. I only got here...

The classic bestseller from the star of Parts Unknown and No Reservations: twenty-fifth anniversary edition. Before there was The Bear, there was Bourdain.